[ thorfinn is a little preoccupied, only half listening at best—for a few moments, anyway, before he remembers that he's not in england and nothing's happening now and this is just a hypothetical situation anyway and he's not killing rider not now not ever—

and then he's listening attentively, quiet and subdued, because betrayal is not only found in death, and he wants nothing more from rider than his approval and spacing out from accidental trauma isn't going to get that, now is it? ]

[ nodding briefly, maybe a little too quickly, still squashing that unpleasant feeling, and he rubs at his arm a bit. ]

That so?

[ pauses, swallowing, and then more steadily: ] I'm not blindly ignoring things. I know what's going on with my surroundings—if it's not important to me there's no point in paying attention to it when I could do other things. If I've got a goal in mind and I'll do whatever it takes to do it, I know I've got a good reason for it.

And if I fall to pieces then I am weak, but that's why I'm trying not to be.

I'm not strong. I never was. If I was strong, strong enough, I wouldn't be here. But if I break then I'll just have to put myself back together. That's all there is to it.