Leif - Earth Stone

[the_last]

[As soon as Leif chomps on the fruit, he will experience sudden disorientation, as if suddenly unfamiliar with being inside his body, perhaps not even knowing why he is there or who he is. It lasts for but a moment and then slowly fades... He will suddenly find himself in a place that seems unusually quiet and gray, as though the color were stolen but there remains just enough to suggest that things have been greatly subdued. There are also about three spots in the distance that seem to almost glow with gentle hues of color, soft and welcoming. Too bad, they seem much too far away to reach.

Within the gray is an expansive forest of every tree imaginable and dry, brittle grass that extends to mid-calf. Here and there, one might even spot some faded prints left upon the ground. The sky is equally gray, although not one cloud can be seen. But a dark mist seems to swirl around the forest, not too thick but clearly present.]

Comments

[wouldntkilladragon]

Because you just decide things without really thinking about the why.

I feel helpless. Oh, magic will fix that. Why? Can you be sure? Have you seen magic really make people not helpless? And why do you feel helpless?

Plus it also kind of limits you.

[karlsefni]

I don't know if it will work but I don't know if it won't work, and it's not like I'm gonna lose an arm and a leg for it so why shouldn't I anyway?

[wouldntkilladragon]

[Snorts.] And always acting like it's just the physical can go wrong.

[karlsefni]

And? I can get over it if it's not a broken arm or something.

[wouldntkilladragon]

You really sure about that?

[karlsefni]

Sure, why not.

[wouldntkilladragon]

See, there it is again.

You really think the mind is just that inconsequential?

[karlsefni]

[ eyebrow raise ]

[wouldntkilladragon]

Never heard of a crisis of faith?

[karlsefni]

[ briefly—taking a moment to crack his neck, shoulders rolling. ]

No.

[wouldntkilladragon]

All right.

Then tell me, what if magic doesn't help you not be helpless.

What do you do then?

[karlsefni]

Go back to what I usually do: practice.

[wouldntkilladragon]

And if that doesn't work?

[karlsefni]

Dunno, find something else.

[wouldntkilladragon]

How about I put it this way.

What if I died because you couldn't help me?

[karlsefni]

. . . [ W

What ]

[wouldntkilladragon]

...well?

[karlsefni]

You--wouldn't, I won't let that happen--

[wouldntkilladragon]

[Snorts.]

How?

[karlsefni]

I don't know, how would you be dying!?

[wouldntkilladragon]

[Shakes his head.]

Doesn't matter. I did. You couldn't save me. How do you deal?

[karlsefni]

[ i didn't ask for this emotional torment ]

[ his face twists, contorting into different expressions (all varying shades of despair, anger, and despair and anger mixed together) as he tries to think—but that's not.

that's not, it's not possible, he can't think that way because he—rider wouldn't die, he can't die he's too important and—





no, that has nothing to do with it, does it? kings die all the time, loved ones die all the time, she died and so did her daughter and that was his fault.

he imagines rider now, rider with that expression, that look of betrayal that the old woman had, and then he looks down. turns away. brings a hand to his face, and breathes. ]

[wouldntkilladragon]

...you just approach things, just looking what's ahead of you, blinding yourself to everything around you and all the possibilities.

That's not determination. That's blind ignorance. It's easy to be determined if you don't see anything else. It's easy to never stop if you don't look around. Because what's there to stop you? There's no true obstacle.

And that's weak because when something does happen, something that does affect you, you'll fall to pieces because you'll never see it coming.

[karlsefni]

[ thorfinn is a little preoccupied, only half listening at best—for a few moments, anyway, before he remembers that he's not in england and nothing's happening now and this is just a hypothetical situation anyway and he's not killing rider not now not ever—

and then he's listening attentively, quiet and subdued, because betrayal is not only found in death, and he wants nothing more from rider than his approval and spacing out from accidental trauma isn't going to get that, now is it? ]

[ nodding briefly, maybe a little too quickly, still squashing that unpleasant feeling, and he rubs at his arm a bit. ]

That so?

[ pauses, swallowing, and then more steadily: ] I'm not blindly ignoring things. I know what's going on with my surroundings—if it's not important to me there's no point in paying attention to it when I could do other things. If I've got a goal in mind and I'll do whatever it takes to do it, I know I've got a good reason for it.

And if I fall to pieces then I am weak, but that's why I'm trying not to be.

I'm not strong. I never was. If I was strong, strong enough, I wouldn't be here. But if I break then I'll just have to put myself back together. That's all there is to it.

[wouldntkilladragon]

You say you pay attention if it's important to you...but do you really?

Can you really put yourself together if you break?

Can you really do that if I break?